ccfinlay

Can someone explain this to me...

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Dec. 11th, 2010 | 11:32 am

...with an answer that doesn't creep me out?

You can't see it clearly in the pictures below, but the car on the road in front of me two nights ago had handcuffs bolted to the rear undercarriage.

Yes, I am certain they were handcuffs. I got very close so I could see. One cuff on each side, with a large bolt and washer through one of the links attaching it to the car.

I'm a writer, so naturally my brain veers toward ominous interpretations. Like the modern equivalent of tying someone to a horse and dragging them across the desert. But this can't be that, right? I mean, people would know. This is a cool hack for skateboarding or something. Right? Or maybe a fetish subculture I haven't encountered before (which would be a lot of them). Something. Anything.

Put my mind at ease...




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Comments {47}

Tiffani

(no subject)

from: enggirl
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:40 pm (UTC)
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"I'm a writer, so naturally my brain veers toward ominous interpretations."

Me, too ... but in this case I don't think you're walking along the dark side AT ALL. They're handcuffs. Bolted to the back of a car.
*handcuffs*
*bolted*

This is just...ugly, is what this is.
I'm just creeped out thinking about it (and I thought those stupid rubber "balls" that certain men (cough...idiots...cough) bolted to their truck undercarriages were creepy. Those are just dumb. But this is...I dunno. Aggressive? Violent?).

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:45 pm (UTC)
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I'm just hoping for a car/sex fetish that I haven't imagined before. That would be (sorta) interesting rather than creepy.

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Lucy Kemnitzer

(no subject)

from: ritaxis
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
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_I_ think it's a darkly humorous way to put a double hitch for a trailer, myself. Probably a boat trsiler.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:56 pm (UTC)
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Would that work? If it worked, that would be darkly humorous. That gives me something to google at any rate...

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Dave Klecha

(no subject)

from: daveamongus
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:32 pm (UTC)
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Well, since there does not appear to be any hitch at all, handcuffs as a double hitch seems unlikely.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:35 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. When I google-imaged "handcuffs boat trailer hitch" I got a whole bunch of pictures that made me glad there were no children around. But nothing suggesting actual use with a boat trailer...

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The Pea

(no subject)

from: mekkavandexter
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:35 pm (UTC)
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I just watched CRASH again, and even I can't come up with something that's not altogether horrible.

Although, there is that scene in CSI:VEGAS where Lady Heather tied that dude to his car. So who knows.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:48 pm (UTC)
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I'm sure there has to be seatbelt bondage kink going on somewhere.

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The Pea

(no subject)

from: mekkavandexter
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 06:16 pm (UTC)
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oh, of that I have no doubt.

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charmingbillie

(no subject)

from: charmingbillie
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:51 pm (UTC)
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Were you driving when you took these pictures?

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stillnotbored

(no subject)

from: stillnotbored
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:54 pm (UTC)
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Of course he was driving. This is Charlie we're talking about.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:56 pm (UTC)
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*sheepishly* ...I was at a stop light...

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(no subject)

from: eljaydaly
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:54 pm (UTC)
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I can't see the pictures. But if someone were going to get all clever and modify their car to do their nefarious deeds, then they'd be of a smart and logical bent -- so smart and logical that they'd have a plan in place to remove them afterward. So my bet is that either it's someone who wants to look tough and nefarious, or... that car was under arrest and it managed to slip its captor!

Kind of like the anti-Love Bug. The Love Bug, but instead of being all cute and lovish, it's a miserable punkass nasty Bug. It's like the 'Bad Santa' of Love Bugs.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 04:59 pm (UTC)
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"It's like the 'Bad Santa' of Love Bugs."

That almost deserves to be a meme.

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Jeff

(no subject)

from: jeffreyab
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:02 pm (UTC)
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What can you tell us about the rest of the car?

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:05 pm (UTC)
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I'm trying to remember (the picture doesn't help a lot and I was looking mostly at the bottom rear) but I think it was a perfectly ordinary economy wagon.

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Michael M Jones

(no subject)

from: oneminutemonkey
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:30 pm (UTC)
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Naughty car! Naughty, naughty car! For shame!

When Transformer kink goes real bad.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:31 pm (UTC)
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Heh.

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Dave Klecha

(no subject)

from: daveamongus
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:36 pm (UTC)
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Since the car is absent a hitch, I'm imagining it would be some kind of redneck-rigged hitch for short-distance or light-load. Given your location, it could also be the remnants of some kind of student/frat stunt--handcuffs to easily hook a rope or something to the back of the car and drag around a pledge on a sled or a office chair or something.

Most likely something stupid or dangerous, but not necessarily nefarious.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:40 pm (UTC)
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All my peace of mind wants is a range of plausible behaviors in the stupid-to-dangerous category. Given my own history of stupid and dangerous, you think I could come up with more on my own.

On the other hand, I'm almost certain I'm going to use this in a story for something in the nefarious range...

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Dave Klecha

(no subject)

from: daveamongus
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:48 pm (UTC)
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Well, I've got a real story about an ATV, a rope, an office chair, and a ramp that ended with one of my wife's relatives in the hospital, so I can imagine all kinds of stupid stuff.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:50 pm (UTC)
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Okay, that beats my personal achievements in stupid.

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ospreys_view

(no subject)

from: ospreys_view
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:38 pm (UTC)
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It could be that they needed something to attach tie down ropes to, such as when tying a canoe to the top of the car. With the flimsy bumpers on cars these days, I'm not sure I would tie a canoe to them as we did with our tank of a station wagon when I was a kid.

Although the handcuffs would be a rather...odd choice of things to use.

I'm not so sure I would have gotten close enough to actually take pictures of the car, though. Who knows what sort of crazy people were in there.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:45 pm (UTC)
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Yeah. Why handcuffs? There just happened to be some lying around maybe? That's the part that's hard for me to figure.

As for getting close, eh. It was one middle-aged white dude in the driver's seat. And while middle-aged white dudes may be statistically more likely that other demographic groups to do creepy things, I'll be damned if I'm going to be bothered by one on a public street. After all, I'm a middle-aged white dude. For all he knows, I could be the scary one.

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Stormsdotter

(no subject)

from: stormsdotter
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:43 pm (UTC)
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My ex-fiancee was into kink, and at one point in a LARP, I borrowed his leather-and-fleece wrist cuffs to wear on the belt of my Guildmistress NPC. All of three people got the joke, but I learned that leather lines with fleece makes an awesome boffer weapon holder. Sicne then I've made modified leather and fleece boffer frogs.

So my guess is that this started as a joke to attach things to the car (like "just married" cans) and then they found a reason to keep them.

Or they're kinky and like Transformers. Let's not give Bay any ideas.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 05:49 pm (UTC)
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"Or they're kinky and like Transformers. Let's not give Bay any ideas."

If he's willing to work with Megan Fox again, it could be very profitable...

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Marshall Payne

(no subject)

from: marshallpayne1
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC)
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Oh, I've heard of this. A kinky sex practice that's come in vogue over the last few years. With progressive couples the husband and wife take turns dragging each of other naked from the bumper through the streets of Sodom and Gomorrah. Some consider it foreplay. I have nothing against it, but I think some things should be kept behind closed doors.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:29 pm (UTC)
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You have to have some pretty big doors, and something even bigger behind them, if you plan to drag somebody around behind a car...

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HominySnark

(no subject)

from: hominysnark
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 06:43 pm (UTC)
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Those aren't handcuffs. They're harnesses for the jet-propulsion elves.

Who obviously had the night off.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:28 pm (UTC)
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Hmm, I wonder who helped them get off.


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A large duck

(no subject)

from: burger_eater
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 07:09 pm (UTC)
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I have no reason to suspect this, but maybe the dangling parts of the cuffs aren't the important part. Maybe there's something damaged under there, and the driver used the cuffs to bolt some things together.

Cuffs would be a good choice for this, if they fit, because they would be unlikely to fall off.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:31 pm (UTC)
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It looked like one pair of cuffs, cut in half, with one cuff on each side, held by a bolt and washer through the last link in the chain to some part of the undercarriage. That's why I was thinking some kind of creative tow...

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wyld_dandelyon

(no subject)

from: wyld_dandelyon
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 10:40 pm (UTC)
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My Angel guesses that if the car used to belong to gang-bangers, it could be a brag--one handcuff for each time the owner got arrested.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:32 pm (UTC)
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I kind of like the idea of gang bangers driving an economy station wagon. It gives them more of a family feel, and makes it less likely they'll elude police in a high-speed chase.

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karen_w_newton

(no subject)

from: karen_w_newton
date: Dec. 11th, 2010 11:10 pm (UTC)
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Wow, the midwest is more interesting than I realized.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:36 pm (UTC)
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I think that's pretty much true of the whole world, even the parts you already find interesting.

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cathshaffer

(no subject)

from: cathshaffer
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 12:19 am (UTC)
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I think it's just decoration. People put all kinds of silly and weird stuff on their cars. If you want to drag someone behind your car, there's no need to permanently attach the handcuffs. Besides, dragging someone behind your car is the kind of thing that gets you pulled over and hassled by the police. Why do that when you could cuff your victim to the plumbing in your perfectly private basement? It seems like the driver is advertising his status as a tough guy.

It might also be a sexual thing--maybe it's a shortcut for when you go to those rest stops to hook up? Instead of dragging yourself all the way in there, you can just pull through the lot and see if anyone is displaying handcuffs?

Of course I am maybe not fulfilling the "don't creep me out" part of answering this question.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:40 pm (UTC)
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Of course I am maybe not fulfilling the "don't creep me out" part of answering this question.

See, that was the key part for me...

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kelly_swails

(no subject)

from: kelly_swails
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 01:47 am (UTC)
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Dude. Just ... dude. My mind goes straight to the gutter on this one and can't get out.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:41 pm (UTC)
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My mind does that for everything all the time. That's why I was turning to others for help this time!

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Christian A. Young

(no subject)

from: bodlon
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
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I've known kinky friends to decorate their cars with handcuffs, but usually from the rearview mirror. Still, we live in a world where these exist in the wild, so it's not outside the realm of possibility.

Also, the fake hitch thing isn't outside of the realm of possibility.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:45 pm (UTC)
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We live in a world where someone can describe their mass-produced gold-colored truck nutz with "veins and wrinkles" and "one nut [that] hangs just a little lower" as "unique and classy."

So, yeah, anything is possible.

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ruralwriter

(no subject)

from: ruralwriter
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:47 pm (UTC)
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No, I can't allay your concerns and, no, I can't stop from making a Finlay-style pun: Clearly, you've documented a case of auto-erotica.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
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I laughed so hard I almost asphyxiated!

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dogzilla30

(no subject)

from: dogzilla30
date: Dec. 12th, 2010 11:54 pm (UTC)
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You were following me?!?

On a serious note, I think I've seen that car or another car with handcuffs on the back and blocked it out of my mind as not being possible.

I think you're going to edit an anthology featuring cars and handcuffs in 2011.

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C. C. Finlay

(no subject)

from: ccfinlay
date: Dec. 13th, 2010 12:18 am (UTC)
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You were following me?!?

Heh. Sometimes I forget there are C-bus readers on this blog. That could be so embarrassing:

"That was my car. I was fired from my job as a police officer for taking to much time off work to help my paraplegic wife. She was hit by a freak meteor strike at our six year old son's rec league soccer game. He thought she was dead and no one could get hold of me. Now, since I don't have a job, we can't afford a van with a lift to get her to her doctor appointments. So I took my police handcuffs and bolted them to the car. We hook them to son's pair of plastic wagons and lay a piece of plywood across the top. Then we tie her wheelchair to it with a rope. It's not much but it's the best we can do. Every day we pray to God for another chance, some miracle to save us.

"When I saw your post it reminded me of the cruelty of the world and the callousness of people who don't understand the trial we've been through.

"Then I noticed that the wagons were missing. I don't know where my wife is!"

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(no subject)

from: anonymous
date: Dec. 13th, 2010 05:05 am (UTC)
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If you look closely at the pic it appears exhaust is flowing from both points. My guess would be they are hangers for a dual exhaust system. I've been married to a redneck who works on cars for a long time and I've pretty much seen it all.

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